I can't believe it's been over a month since I last posted anything. The last month of chemo pretty much went as usual. It probably sounds a little weird, but chemo was not nearly as bad as I imagined. It has been over a week since my last (and final) treatment and I'm feeling pretty well. My hair is growing in pretty well, I've got the GI Jane look going on. My port should come out soon and then Wesley and I are going on a much needed vacation. I have put off writing this for a while, I think because I wasn't sure how I felt about it all yet. People keep asking me how I feel about being done with treatment and I don't really have an answer. I guess most people expect me to be ecstatic but I find that I'm not that enthusiastic. For others it probably seemed like I was diagnosed with cancer, started treatment and then I was finished! Although for me this has been a process and at first it felt like it was never going to be over and each treatment I counted down to the end. Basically, I knew quite well when this would be over and throughout the whole process I've kept my focus on what was next and now there isn't really anything next, except the well...the rest of my life.

It's been a while since I posted anything. Things have been going very smoothly and I don't have a lot to report. I did find out that I will definitely not be getting any radiation treatment. With my tenth treatment under my belt; I only have 2 treatments left. 

Alanna is at the beach this weekend for Pirate Fest. She has also set up a lemonade stand to raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. 

I haven't felt too bad this weekend. The steroids have definitely helped my breathing. I go back to the doctor tomorrow to check on my progress. It just sort of sunk in that I only have 4 treatments left, that's 8 weeks. We are finally getting to the end of this! And without the bleomycin, I think the next 4 will be much easier.

Yesterday was quite a long day. I was able to have my 8th treatment minus the bleomycin. Thursday and Friday I had a few coughing fits and was short of breath. After treatment, they sent me to have a CT scan of my lungs. My lungs showed some inflammation which may be lung toxicity. I am taking a steroid to help with the breathing. They will probably permanently take me off of the the bleomycin. 

The good news is that I am already breathing better and I only have 4 more treatments to go!

Well, this cold won't really go away. I've had a low grade fever all week and a really bad cough. I went to the doctor today and my white counts were low so I got a shot to boost it. This should mean that I will be able to get my treatment tomorrow. I'm afraid that getting treatment on top of a cold will make for a very unpleasant weekend.

Still have a fever, this sucks!

This is the first holiday weekend that I have had off from treatment. So I decided to  make the most of it. Friday, I attended school mass where Alanna was sworn in as 4th grade class president, yesterday I repainted Alanna's room, and today we went to shark tooth island. Of course, now I'm paying for all of that fun. I have a 100.4 fever. I really hope this doesn't set my next treatment back. Keep  your fingers crossed.

I am definitely starting to feel better today. Thanks to Mom, I had a massage and a facial today! Tomorrow it's back to work.

Alanna has a sinus infection, so she's been at my Dad's. She's coming home tonight and I am so happy!

I was not able to bring myself to write this weekend. I had treatment #7 on Friday, I am officially more than half way through. On a sour note, this was my most difficult treatment yet. I felt very nauseous and all together terrible. I am starting to come back around and will hopefully be feeling well by the weekend. I also bid farewell to my hair this weekend.

I have felt great this weekend and my counts are up! Amber, Ivano, and Braeden visited this weekend. We had a lot of fun and they left too soon. Back to work this week. My lung functions test came back normal, so I will be able to get my full dose of chemo this week. I dread going to my treatments even though I know it's saved my life.

Nine years ago today, Wesley and I were married. Over the past nine years there have been many trials and tragedies but we've come out of them stronger than before. I don't know what the next nine years have in store for us but I know that together we can get through anything. So here's to many more...

Apparently I have not evoked the right amount of enthusiasm today and now that I'm not feeling well I definitely don't. However, we got wonderful news today. My cancer is technically in remission. My CT Scan showed that the lymph node shrunk 80% and the PET Scan showed that it was no longer taking sugar. Due to the scarring that Hodgskins causes it will probably never completely be gone but it is no longer active. I will still need to complete my remaining 6 rounds of chemo and possibly some radiation.
Thank you all so much for all of your prayers and help, I couldn't do this without you. We are half way there!

All of us women at some point or another think what we wouldn't give to never have to shave again, many get painful laser treatmetns and waxes. It turns out that there is a trade off. All you have to do is give up the hair on your head.

I know that cancer can take away many things but I feel mostly like it has given me a lot, namely perspective. I've always had grandiose visions of saving the world but of course I don't have time to save the world. It is only now that I realize that it is the small things that you do that make a difference. While I used to put Alanna off when she wanted to do something with me, I now take wonder in each little moment we get to spend together and realize that very soon she will be a grown up who may not want to bake a cake with me.I always imagined that I would be the one taking care Wesley and how he has amazed me. I have never loved him more and not for any over the top gesture nor have I discovered this fact while on a fantastic vacation with him. It is again the little things, he patiently waits for me to come around from each treatment, he makes grilled cheese sandwhiches for me at 11 o'clock at night, and somehow he still thinks I'm beautiful. And as my best friend of 16 years moved away today, I realized how I have been putting her off for years. While she lived only a few minutes away, rarely did I make an effort just to go and spend time with her, now to see her I will have to travel thousands of miles. I know that the Lord chooses our journey for a reason and I am grateful for what I am able to learn along the way.

I think I may have set a new world record for sleeping. All I did this weekend was sleep, which is really boring by the way. I'm not feeling too bad, I may even stop by the office tomorrow.

Alanna had a stomach ache last night and couldn't go with Suzanne and I to Bingo. None of us won, but we had fun anyhow. Of course it would have been better if Lannie had been there. She left today to spend the week in Jacksonville with my Mom. I'm sure she'll have fun but I'll miss her a lot.

I had my 5th treatment today. My white counts weren't too low, so I won't have to get a shot this week. However, they weren't able to give me one of the chemo drugs today because I was coughing. In 2 weeks I will get another scan to see how the chemo is working.

Alanna, Wesley, and I went on a bike ride yesterday morning and then Alanna and I went to the beach. We met a volunteer of the Sea Turtle Project who told us about the nests that have been hatching on Tybee. Hopefully we'll get the chance to see one hatch this summer. I ended up cancelling our crabbing trip today because I wasn't feeling too good this morning. I stayed in bed until 3 o'clock this afternoon, which means that I am never going to be able to get to sleep tonight.

So, I got a new do yesterday. I look like Mia Farrow.  Wes is anxious for me to join his band of skin heads but me and my hair are hanging on. I worked from home this week which gave me some much needed rest. Now I'm ready to play with Alanna and Braeden on the beach tomorrow! We're hoping to spy some turtles, it's almost a full moon. I'll keep you posted.

I had to go back to the doctor yesterday to check my white blood counts and they were low. So I had to get a shot to boost them which causes a bit of back pain. Other than that I really haven't felt that bad today. Hopefully, I can go to work tomorrow and spend some time with Alanna. Going through these treatments seem to make me irritable, which doesn't always make spending time with me so great. I'm working on it though.

4 down, 8 to go! I feel more awake this weekend than I usually do, maybe it's because Wesley likes to wake me up to see if I want anything. Seriously though, Wesley has been so good to me. He's outside right now doing yard that I've been trying to get done for years.

Amber got this me incredible cook, "The Cancer-Fighting Kitchen". It lists the possible side effects of chemotherapy and radiation therapy and which foods can help. They also list all of the fruits, veggies, and herbs that may help to prevent cancer. If you know anyone with cancer you should definitely get this for them. I haven't tried any recipes yet, but my Mom is making some this weekend.

This week has been pretty good so far. I got some work and shopping done, hard to say which is more important. I scored a pair of blue wayfarers. I took the day off today (from working & shopping) and spent some time with Alanna at the pool. I even went to the gym with Julie. Tomorrow will be my 4th treatment and mark 1/3 of the way done!

Today has been great! Alanna and I went to church and then had lunch and went swimming with Suzanne and Caroline. We even played categories. Alanna is tough to crack, her category is fish and she picks salmon.

Alanna and Wes are making pizzas for dinner!

It's been a great weekend, although I have realized that my energy level is just not 100%. My hair is all over the house, I'm not sure how much longer I can deal with that. Wes is ready to take shears to it.

Weekend

I went to the doctor yesterday and my white blood count was back up. So I didn't have to get a shot and I can be sociable this weekend!

 Last night I went to dinner with some friends at Tangerine.  

Alanna and Wesley are currently making me breakfast:)

I'm so glad to be feeling normal again.

Today was good. I went to work and Suzanne came over for dinner and a walk. I don't know if  I'll be able to sleep, Alanna is camping out tonight!

I am slowly starting to feel better. Sitting around the house all day is really getting old. Which is kind of funny because normally would I love to be able to stay at home and do nothing. Hopefully, I'll be able to go to work tomorrow.

Red, White, and Blue

With an emphasis on blue. I've really missed Alanna this weekend. What I want most of all is to be able to be her Mom. I wanted to decorate 4th of July cupcakes and go swimming with her. I am learning so much from this illness. So often we take our health for granted and put things off. I will come out of this a much better person than before. I will put what is most important first.
So my challenge to anyone who is actually reading this is, do something this week that you have been putting off. I don't mean do your laundry or clean out your refrigerator. I mean call your grandparents or spend time with your family.

Saturday

I actually don't feel too horrible today, not yet anyway. I've been busy adding pictures and links to the blog.

3 Down!

I had chemo today, so I am now a quarter of the way done! I spent most of the afternoon sleeping. Just woke up and thought I would update the blog.

Seeing how it's 4th of July of weekend, you are all probably doing fun stuff but so am I, kicking lymphomas butt!

As promised, a picture of my new haircut. I discovered that when I brush it all forward I look like Justin Beiber.

I'm having trouble coming up with a good name for my blog. Please give me some suggestions.

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